"I'm sorry. There isn't a heartbeat. You're still going to have to deliver her. We'll need to know whether you want an autopsy and what your funeral arrangements will be. Your fever had nothing to do with it."
Four years ago those sentences were delivered to us in the hospital on a Saturday morning around 8am in one swift blow from the doctor. We sat there with the air knocked out of our lungs and reality rapidly hitting us like a Mack truck that we'd lost our little girl, our firstborn. She was gone. Our hopes and dreams for our little girl were taken away in an instant.
While four years have since passed, February 19, 2005 still seems like it happened just yesterday--details are still fresh in our memories and the pain is still here and still raw. As time has passed by, we've learned how to readjust and live through the pain, but it's always right under the surface waiting to rear it's ugliness. It will never go away.
We've been blessed to have a precious little boy who brings much joy into our lives, but every milestone he makes is bittersweet because it reminds us of the milestones that Catherine will never make. We're excited and cautiously optimistic to add another boy, "Nugget", into our family very soon but the journey with this pregnancy has been especially tough emotionally for Jill as it has almost paralleled her pregnancy with Catherine. We've relied on the strength in knowing that Catherine is watching over her little brothers and trying to provide some comfort to her parents as well.
Four years ago time stood still. Four years later, time still pauses for us every February 19th.
Happy 4th Angel Birthday Catherine Bailey!
Love Mommy, Daddy, your little brother AJ, and "Nuggs"
Four years ago those sentences were delivered to us in the hospital on a Saturday morning around 8am in one swift blow from the doctor. We sat there with the air knocked out of our lungs and reality rapidly hitting us like a Mack truck that we'd lost our little girl, our firstborn. She was gone. Our hopes and dreams for our little girl were taken away in an instant.
While four years have since passed, February 19, 2005 still seems like it happened just yesterday--details are still fresh in our memories and the pain is still here and still raw. As time has passed by, we've learned how to readjust and live through the pain, but it's always right under the surface waiting to rear it's ugliness. It will never go away.
We've been blessed to have a precious little boy who brings much joy into our lives, but every milestone he makes is bittersweet because it reminds us of the milestones that Catherine will never make. We're excited and cautiously optimistic to add another boy, "Nugget", into our family very soon but the journey with this pregnancy has been especially tough emotionally for Jill as it has almost paralleled her pregnancy with Catherine. We've relied on the strength in knowing that Catherine is watching over her little brothers and trying to provide some comfort to her parents as well.
Four years ago time stood still. Four years later, time still pauses for us every February 19th.
Happy 4th Angel Birthday Catherine Bailey!
Love Mommy, Daddy, your little brother AJ, and "Nuggs"
